Today’s Why Not Huddle with Sean Callagy
The world is a crazy place!
I find myself thinking and saying that almost every day. For those that believe in quantum physics or even the simple concept of “you get what you focus on” due to simple issues of self-fulfilling prophecies as a result of self-directed thoughts, feelings and actions, this would explain some of the more “interesting” moments in my life. Maybe I need to check this out as a limiting belief….
Regardless, I think the way our culture exists in 2015 is amazingly bizarre at best and horrifically self-defeating, if not self-destructive at worst.
How does that grab you for “positive thinking?!”
This is one of the reasons I am doing the “Why Not Huddles” and “Why Not Talks”.
I love people. I despise any process or thinking I believe is harming people, their happiness and their fulfillment.
So what about this “guilty pleasure” stuff?
When you say the phrase “guilty pleasure,” what thoughts, feelings, pictures and sounds does it conjure up?
Maybe some reality shows about housewives? How about some chocolate thing you love to eat even though you’re on a “diet”?
To me, “guilty pleasure” implies something a bit secretive from which you gain pleasure, but are a bit embarrassed. It’s something that society generally would not see as a good thing, but we all “deserve” a little bit of it in our life.
Is it possible, just POSSIBLE, that the world of “self-help”, “personal development” and even just being “happy” and “positive” are now “GULTY PLEASURES” in our society and culture?
Hmmmmm………. I think they just might be.
We live in a society and future where if you believe in anything positive, you stand open to attack and criticism as someone who is a “sucker” or a “Kool-Aid drinker”.
When I first read Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins, I got very excited and shared it with my friends. For many of them, it became a joke and a way to them to goof on me.
Also, what typically happens when you tell people you have a new goal or a dream? Let’s say it is to start a business, double your income, find the person of your dreams, help your kids begin a process to ultimately play Division 1 college sports, or whatever?
What do you think most people are thinking if you share these goals or dreams with them?
Hold that thought for a moment, while we explore what most people do think is okay, and therefore, leads you to a deeper connection with other people.
What is a connecting and comfortable way to “fit in” in social group settings in 2015 in our culture?
Let’s say you are at a back to school night, and you are milling about waiting for things to start. What are people commonly chatting about?
How about if you’re on line at a theme park? It’s a beautiful summer day and people take the time and spend the money to have a “great day” with family and friends at a theme park built for fun. What are the conversations we are mostly hearing all about?
The grocery line, waiting in traffic, a bar, youth sporting events, business conferences or any grouping of human beings in 2015?
What are people discussing?
My experience, and maybe I live on a different planet, but I don’t think so, has been: something NEGATIVE. From the heat, the line, the crowd, the rain, the traffic, the latest scandal, why the event is set up less than optimally, what we are putting up with, women blah, men blah, kids blah, our jobs blah, it is, for the most part negative.
AND……….if you dare discuss something positive, what has your experience been there? Mine has been that people, in social circles, begin to speak negatively about the positive person. I’ve heard things like that person is “delusional” because their kids not that good, who do they think they are, they aren’t being realistic, they are so fake, they are setting themselves up for a BIG disappointment, she drank the “kool-aid” or she’s so positive it makes me sick.
I’ve heard these exact statements. All of them. I’ve heard similar words more than a thousand times in my life.
So what’s the point? Give up?!
No. There is an amazing counter phenomenon. As much as this exists in our culture, people really do want to believe. People crave positive. They just need to believe and know it’s real.
The challenge is that people are conditioned to be negative to feel comfortable. As Tony Robbins first introduced to me, we will do “far more to avoid pain, than to gain pleasure.” This is why people would rather be negative than live life in a positive way. We feel more comfortable being right about negative than wrong about positive.
It is much easier to say: this line is horrible than I’m so excited about my daughters game today. It also because most people are living at effect of all this negativity. Thus, if you are happy, you are most likely not following a key relationship building element of “matching and mirroring” to build rapport.
Wow Sean, “what the h, e, double hockey stick (as my daughter loves to say) are you talking about?!”
What I am saying is YES we perceive positive things, including the “Why Not Huddle”, as “Guilty Pleasures” in our culture today. We feel a bit embarrassed or uncomfortable, generally, because saying something negative is far easier in our world.
BUT, the people that are in fact magnetically attractive in our culture are the people who can genuinely and congruently communicate positive, real, meaningful and inspirational message to others. I simply believe that most of us don’t know “how”. So, when we try, we are less certain about our message than the people with whom we are communicating are certain about their message that “that won’t work”.
Tomorrow, we will discuss how to reverse this entire process. Why should you care? Because if you don’t you will have people creating doubt for you wherever you go as you create and live your greatest life and destiny. I’ve lived it.
When I said I was starting my own law firm, all of the positive and amazing people around me told me I was crazy, I would fail, I was too young, and lots of other things that were proven to be totally and completely wrong.
I care about your dreams. I care about you. These “small distinctions” are critical and very real.
Please watch and read every day. Please spread the word and share these articles and Why Not Huddles and Talks. Please post your comments and questions.
One of my ultimate goals is to make being negative, cynical and sarcastic the “Guilty Pleasure” and be standing on line at Great Adventure and listening to everyone talking about the amazing day they are having and how happy they are to be with each other.
Tune in tomorrow for “how” to tap into this part of people and make yourself a true magnetic positive leader.
Why Not?!
In your service,
Sean Callagy
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Why Not #13 Why Not Indulge in this "Guilty Pleasure"- November 9, 2015
